The Learning Parent

Answers from the Heart - Frequently Asked Questions

Handling Negative Comments

Q: Choosing Curriculum?
I have been home schooling our four children, ages 6, 8, 10, and 23, for three years. I have used Abeka and Switched on Schoolhouse and have not found a way/program that worked well for us. Your way of educating your family seems absolutely wonderful. Everything we want for our own. How would we get started, and how would I know what is right for who?

A: We did use A Beka for a number of years, but not the way they do. I never got the teacher's keys, so didn't do all the drill they do. Any curriculum I've seen gives too much busy work. For instance, in math, I assign about 10-12 problems per day. If the child understands them, we move on the next day. Doing a whole page of 30 problems or so discourages them.
It's not so much which curriculum you use as how you use it. I don't do Language until about the third grade. In first and second they spend time on teaching how to pit a capital letter at the beginning of each sentence and ending with a period and make the child write the entire sentence to accomplish that. If you wait till third grade, they will have seen that done, and it won't be a problem to them. So many curriculums require too much writing for early grades. I have them write a small amount each day and do it neatly, but if you assign too much, they will just try to get it done and do a messy job.
I let younger children answer some questions orally instead of writing everything. As time goes on, you will become confident in assigning what you feel is important, and passing over what is busy work on unnecessary.
Also, make time for the fun stuff, like science experiments, reading to the kids, doing projects, etc. That kind of thing they will remember.

Q: Teaching several preschoolers
We have two wonderful boys who are 4 and 2. We're already doing some homeschooling stuff, but I'm struggling with great amounts of house chores. I feel like I don't spend enough time with them.
How do you distribute your time between your youngsters and all the things you're called to do? What's your typical day like?

A: I always tell people that it was hardest for me when I had three little ones, as you have to do all the chores, cooking, etc. As your children grow a bit older then you can begin to train them in helping with all the chores as a part of their training. It is such a help to involve the little ones and teach them to do the chores correctly. Once they learn, you can have certain chores to be done daily, and so take some of the burden off of mom. As for now, it's a season in your life that is difficult. It will get progressively better as they grow older, but don't wish time away. The season you are in is precious in so many ways, and one you will not have back again. The chores will still be there and done more efficiently as they grow a little older, but for now, remember you are investing in the most precious thing on earth, the lives of your little ones, who will spend eternity with you in heaven if you do your job training them.
When all mine were little, I would spend some time each day with each of them. At nap time, I would lay them all down, then take one at a time up and spend just about 10 minutes reading Bible stories or doing verses with them, so they knew they would they would have my undivided attention. I would schedule their day, sprinkling time with them in between chores, so they would know they would have some of my time at scheduled intervals throughout the day. I also would start even with 3 year olds to give them "special" chores, like washing baseboards, or something like that. It's best to start them young so they know they are important to the family, and they are!

Q: Handling Negative Comments
I have four children, and am 27. I love my children, and I desire more, but I have such a hard time handling the negative comments. It's wonderful to see that you lived out your desire and pushed aside whatever negative comments you have endured. I think you guys are amazing. :) I have so much family against me and just people in general. They say stuff like, "Well, I guess you're gonna have a Kid City!" And the list just goes on. How do I tune that out? I can't seem to.

A: God will richly bless you for your willingness to follow Him and endure the rude comments. I think God gives special grace when you are misunderstood by others and follow His leading anyway. I just figure many people don't mean to be rude, others just don't understand what a blessing a large family is. Many people wish later in life that they had had more children when they had the chance to do so. I guess I just tried to avoid the ones that were really discouraging and dismiss the others.
I now feel so blessed that God allowed me to have such a large family. One of my greatest joys is to watch the older kids interact with each other and with the younger kids. They truly are each others' best friends, and it is so precious that it's worth all those years of misunderstanding. My family just didn't understand for years and years, until the kids got older and they could see how they turned out; then they respected us for it, but it took years in coming. I can truly say, the family, especially my parents, not understanding was the hardest thing for me through the years.
Hang in there and remember that it is God we need to please and not others. He will give you a special blessing for doing that.

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